sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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