watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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