So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Randomize
