maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize