How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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