i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
