id be glad to
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize
