i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
