The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
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