Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
