Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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