in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
