mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
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