STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
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