D3 body, D1 cock
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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