my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
