you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
