Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
