Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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