After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Randomize
