In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
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