whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
