I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
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