just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
