Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
