Im at strip club and am horny
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
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