Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Randomize
