I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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