he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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