You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
