That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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