I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
Randomize
