We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Randomize
