im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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