How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
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