Tell her she can't have a vagina
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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