i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
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