would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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