This girl is more easily done than said...
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
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