his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
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