This is not my ceiling
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Randomize
