Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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