I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
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