youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
