i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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