used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Sorry about my life...
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize
