omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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