Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize
