carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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