i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
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