question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
