Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
