you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
