It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I am spending my child support on dildos
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
