the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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