p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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