I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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