So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
Moan for me like Helen Keller
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
