i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
